Bored Brahmin Brays...

Just checking

2011-07-09T12:17:00.000-07:00

If it's still existing

Single for too long?

2008-11-01T22:55:00.000-07:00

A lot of B-school grads today are increasing falling prey to LOOS (Lack of opportunity symptom).

What I see is the problem: -

· They were attached/ slightly attached/ had one-sided love in college. Hence, the mind-status on love life continues to stay in the exit-college condition.
· A decent pay package and a big brand name behind them conditions them to think they are the most eligible singles from college and re-ignition of old flames will happen soon (statistics say 96% B-schoolers try and woo their old connections once they reach a self satisfying stature, financially)
· All they fail to realize is how most of their batch mates would be feeling the same way
· They think its no time for flings because they are 26-27-28 and its time for shaadi.
· Companies they work for have put them in Jabalpur, Kanpur, Coimbatore, Cochin where they can find no one who matches their ‘mental frequency’
· They are so bored of staying alone but having nothing to spend on that they surrender to the idea of arranged marriage

The worst part is that that they don’t realize that they are desperate. It happens when you’ve been single for too long.
What I see is the symptom: -

· You get drunk and bask in glory of those days when your (X) girl friend got jealous when you spoke to a brunette who came to visit the campus for a few days as a part of exchange
· You still frequent the orkut profiles of your EXs
· When you see them green on gtalk, you think for a split second, ‘should I , should I not start the conversation’
· When in a bar/ coffee shop without company, you order a drink and start calling your friends
· When you are cribbing too much about work
· When you realize you haven’t refused a party invitation in last 6 months (you definitely wanna get noticed, get hooked)
· Before a train journey starts, you frantically hope that may someone interesting occupies the seat beside you
· In a gathering you suddenly come up with the announcement, “I wanna go to Leh alone. I need to spend some time with myself”
· Suddenly after reaching your hometown, you feel like a lost puppy coz no one else is single anymore!

What I suggest: -

http://www.shaadi.com/
Sit for MTV splitsvilla auditions

A talk lay buried

2008-10-23T13:31:00.000-07:00

I wonder why sometimes
I feel there is something amiss
When there is everything I ever wanted
Why is there vacuum in the abyss
Why do hopes from cherished ones
Translate to discontent later?
Or is the inability of the other
To comprehend greater

A talk will lay buried
Words will remain unspoken
Odd manifestations and
Dismal smiles betoken
As thoughts sometimes are
Like undying blemishes
When emotions divulge
Only the world relishes
Wounded is the one who hears
Wounded is the one who says
Silence comes by wisdom
Have heard the same always

So should true feelings die a slow death?
And sentiments lodge in the unknown?
Isn’t it then unfair to call it love when
It is sorrow in the heart sown
But kept hidden somewhere
Expecting this too shall pass
Hoping things will change
Collecting inside a grey amass
Which one day might explode
With exasperation and tears
In willows doubt and question
Is what one fears

So why is the other unwilling
To make way and understand
The silent spasms each day
And lend a warm hand
Then why let the talk lay buried
And why should words remain unspoken
Emotions make a lot of noise
Why lie when time is to be woken
As compromises are like
A dissonance cove
The more you judge
Is the less you love

PS: Wick, I ain't being judgemental:P it doesn't matter..i still love you.

Retold into existence

2008-03-07T20:33:00.000-08:00

I ponder a lot over things that lack in life. Lack of public transport in Gurgaon to lack of time to go to the parlour for a wax. Lack of personal life, lack of impetus, lack of lacs in my bank account, lack of……..
Then I spend a lot of time chewing over these lacks and converting them to major gaps in life.

“ Lack of public transport in Gurgaon……How unlike Mumbai..…Oh Mumbai…How much I miss it…Gurgaon is just not the place for me…I must shift to mumbai…this job wont let me…I should find another one…This isn’t a good enough reason…I don’t know what I want from life…I’m an indecisive trudge tangled unnecessarily …..blahh..”

“Lack of time to go to the parlour....everything can be managed, I’m the one procrastinating since long.....think I’ve lost the desire to look beautiful…..how sad is such a thought at the age of 23…..am I going through some kind of depression??…..Should I go to the Himalayas?....omg!!”

After such gigantic troubles in life its easy for anyone to breakdown when life pushes one more bit. So life came to an end when my water purifier broke down.
Alas!! How could a girl at such a tender age, living all by herself take the burden of getting a water purifier fixed??
And then again, everyone from my parents to my bosses expect me to act perfectly normally. I should be equally cheerful when I call mumma each morning and I should respect all my deadlines irrespective of the hurdles I cross each day while I secure basic necessities (like clean drinking water)of life for myself.

To top it all there are incompetent unreasonable plods working for you who can’t manage their time, don’t know how to work efficiently, who nod even before listening to you and basically do a good job of fucking the chore well. Methinks I should steal their school graduation certificates and drop them somewhere in the pacific ocean.
Ghhhhh….Life is more unfair than ever!

While taunting him at his work and spurning at what little was left of his ego, I ask one of my new recruits if he’s feeling lucky to be in the company he is in. He nodded meekly. I asked if there was an issue.
“Madam, I was a Cricket player. I was in the team when Harayana won the Ranji Cup. Then I had an accident and couldn’t play anymore so had to change my field. But you please give me sometime. I will do a good job and not disappoint you.”

I felt a huge ball roll drop from my heart to my stomach.

I shouted at my bai, Paudha, a few days back for being minutes late as I was getting later for work.
“Didi, my younger daughter has not eaten anything since 3 days and pukes whatever I force in. This morning I sent her to Kolkata with my mother as I don’t have time to take care of her. If nothing else, she will be in Bengal if she lives. I went to the station to drop them and I definitely won’t be late tomorrow.”

I felt dry inside. And small. While I was busy in self-pity over my water purifier she nonchalantly fought for continuation. I wish I could turn into a fly and hide under the carpet she was cleaning. And I wish Paudha would unknowingly squash the fly with her foot.

Hi Mom, will you for once listen to me?

2008-02-12T02:43:00.000-08:00

At the core, I am a non-listener. I listen till the topic of discussion isn’t leading to infringement of my basic fundamental rights. That is why, listening to mom is a slight hitch. Firstly, she still thinks I am incapable of making right decisions, venture out in the open all alone, open the door without being advised by her to do so, stand straight without her instructions like I were still a 2 year old (I can see Chotu and Manu nodding in agreement in Jaipur.."arre yeh toh hamare saath bhee hota hai.."). Secondly, we would always topple upon something where she would succeed in coercing me into changing the way things have been (read – encroach my personal space).
Her propositions are detailed and demanding and need a paper and pen to start with. Plus if you follow them, you’ll feel 84 by the time you are 32.

One can’t possibly eat everything she suggests as breakfast in one light year (Shaktiman can go to the moon and come back and I’ll still be having breakfast) ….milk, fruits, muesli, yogurt….. (if you are staying alone, like I am, she’ll fill you in with timesaving techniques like: while you cutting fruits, you can boil the oats)

I don’t think I’ll have time to sleep or shit or earn if I follow the lifestyle she suggests "…take a while in making your bed, 20 mins kapalbhaati, 20 mins pranayam, 20 mins walk early morning, evenings should start with 20 mins of….. "

And I don’t think I’ll have any social life left if I listen to her all the time as: One, I’d have no time on my hands after breakfast! Two, she insists on calling ALL my friends home, ALL the time because ‘…kya fayda hai bahaar jaane ka..tum log 150 rupaye ki coffee peete ho….’. And three, without trying to show how curious she is, she’ll try to know all about your personal life… ‘Chotu toh keh rahi thi tu pichle weekend ghar pe nahi thi, maine bola office mein kaam hoga..’

At my age, if you can cook, earn, keep a clean house, wash clothes and also have a personal life, you gotta be a super girl. To my understanding, I am one. But mumma dear refuses to recognize my talents and recommends something or the other which to her understanding will take me one step closer to her picture of a perfect 23 year old indian marriageable spinster. I end up listening to her because otherwise, people at home have to face repercussions..... Papa would be wincing at the sight of green healthy – gheeless food, Manu would squirm at the sudden cut-down on hours to be at play and Chotu would cringe at the questioning looks given to her while she’s on her cellphone. All three would blame me as if i were the mastermind behind the plot leading to their miseries. Very submissively I would agree and apologize and do something I hate doing – Obey!!

Mummy darling, please find below the proof (today’s breakfast):

I hope you and the world around you is slightly happy now.

Now I guess, shewill agree, I’m the world’s best daughter and trust me with other decisions I am planning to make in the near future :)

Why am I Jack's wasted life?

2007-12-25T08:29:00.000-08:00

Everywhere we went,
we were sizing things up.

I felt sorry for guys packed into gyms, trying to look like how Calvin Klein or Tommy Hilfiger said they should.

Is that what a man looks like?

- Tyler Durden

I have been spending too much time in profiling the way the others should look at me. Perception matters. But if you are a real person, you’d start feeling possessed after a while. Like what I feel right now.
I have realized that the fabric of human decision making is based on the indispensability of the beneficiary at that particular moment.

What mom makes for dinner is not what tastes good but if my dad would appreciate the same. We would be slaves to our bosses less for the business sense and more for the end term evaluation. I would like to be what someone too dear to me would want to see me as.
-
-
-
Then again, its all for myself in the end. Fair enough. I shouldn’t be cribbing.
Or probably, I’m just Jack’s intermittent exasperation.

I am Jack's wasted life

2007-12-06T02:38:00.000-08:00

:((

The nineteenth day of november

2007-11-19T06:04:00.000-08:00

Few of us would know this. In India, this day has witnessed the birth of some of the most successful and powerful, dynamic and brave, intellectual and demanding women.

Rani Laxmi Bai 19th November 1828
Lakshmibai, The Rani of Jhansi , the queen of the Maratha-ruled princely state of Jhansi in North India, was one of the leading figures of the Indian rebellion of 1857, and a symbol of resistance to British rule in India. Because of her unprecedented bravery, courage and wisdom and her progressive views on women's empowerment in 19th century India, and due to her sacrifices, she became an icon of Indian nationalist movement.

* Bow * and a thousand times over..

Indira Gandhi 19th November 1917
Indira Priyadarshini Gandhi was the Prime Minister of India for three consecutive terms from 1966 to 1977 and for a fourth term from 1980 until her assassination in 1984. She was India's first and to date only female prime minister. Chosen to become PM by Congress Party insiders after Shastri's death, Gandhi soon showed an ability to win elections and outmaneuver opponents. She was one of the strongest leaders India has had till date.

* Bow* U ruled woman!!!

Zeenat Aman 19th November 1951
Zeenat Aman was born to a Muslim father and a Hindu mother. She was the second runner up in the Miss India Contest and went on to win the Miss Asia Pacific in 1970. She is considered the very first sex symbol of the indian film industry.
*......WWow..*

Sushmita Sen 19th November 1975
Sushmita Sen won the title of Miss India in 1994 at the age of 18 who went on to become the first indiam Miss Universe. In 2000, she adopted a girl, Renee, as a single mother a bold anomaly in a conservative country like ours.

Hats off to you gutsy lady!

By the way, this day is also recognized as International Men’s Day in India for some reason.

Finally Strategically Aligned to the Core Work Process

2007-11-04T01:29:00.000-07:00

Exam time in my B-school was fun. I spent time playing B-hinD-D-tacky G (read behn di taki ji). A game behind B-school gyaan’s Dirty Doctrines and Tacky Globe (also called faff). Played by perennially jaded ones like me who feel zombied at jargon loaded syllabi, esp. one night before their OB exam ( I don’t remember what O in OB stands for – Organization or Organizational. According to me this is one function which ensures that employees behave properly, are punctual, wear clean clothes to office, carry a kerchief and have their nails neatly trimmed).

Coming back to B-hinD-D-tacky G. An out of the ordinary game for brainless souls which helps them stay awake and add some sad humor to all the gyaan puked at them in the first semester of their B-school life. All one needs to do is pick three words and put them in a sentence. Keep shuffling them till the time the meaning really changes.

Example:

Lesson1, Page 1, Line 1 - The Strategic Direction should be Aligned to the core work process.

Pick 3 words: Strategy. Direction. Alignment.

Now look at the majjicc!!!

The Aligned Direction should be Strategic to the core work process

The Direction Strategy should be Aligned to the core work process

The Strategic Alignment should be Directed to the core work process

No change in the sense (or nonsense) it makes. 3 points!!! Yeyeyeye!!!Applause!!

Burp. B-school over. Sales starts.

My first interaction with my boss. We were planning to discuss the ‘ profitability of the channel partners ’ after lunch. I prepared myself for another unexciting damp theoretical sitting. I was all set with my likely contributions (Strategy. Direction. Alignment)

He started by saying, “Distributor kutte ka mafiq hona chahiye.Tum haddi feko. Who pooch hilaye”
:D

Now I use behn di taki in its real sense (as and when required).

I promise!! I will!!

2007-10-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Bored Brahmin,

How lousy could I be? It was your first budday on 6Th of September and I am wishing you now :(( !!! Anyway, Happy Belated Birthday Babyy!!!

I am really sorry baby. I have been really busy. Will never ever ignore you again. I promise i'll get you a shiny new template as a birthday gift. Pakka Promise!!!

I will do anything to make my baby happy. For you I will even try and be more tech-savvy and learn how to edit html codes myself (and not depend on mallu men for help)I will get you anything you want...clocks (London, Iran, Uzbekistan, Jakarta) and google ads (http://www.simplymarry.com/, http://www.bhratmatrimony.com/).

If you want i'll also get you 'i love cats'/' I love strawberries'/I love tomato ketchup'/ 'I love juhu beach' badges.

I'll get you your own pet Katra/Batra/Garfield whichever is bigger and colorful.

I'll make sure you are blogrolled more often.

I'll make sure more and new people visit you even if I have to invent spicy episodes to get more comments.

I'll give you a sexy new look with a new wigg or digg which will make you look del.icio.us and slu.rp.y and u.mmm.mmm

I'll have a blog zodiac button so that I never ever forget your birthday again.

I'll either get some 'bloggy award' or stick a jpg image myself if I don't get one...but wont disappoint you.

On the side bar we'll have things which really interest everyone.."Books I read...", "what others had to say...", "Number of hits" because these days it really counts.

While doing all I might not get time to say things i really want to. But i believe its ok till the time you are popular.

“Aapko kahaan utarna hai?”

2007-09-30T08:52:00.000-07:00

“Aapko kahaan utarna hai?”
“Chembur”
“OK”
Nod.
Nod.

A conversation of this kind with an absolute stranger won’t make any sense till the time you are sitting in a II class Mumbai local train. The system carries more than 6.1 million commuters on a daily basis and constitutes more than half of the total daily passenger capacity of the Indian Railways itself. It has the highest passenger density of any urban railway system in the world.
And trust me, mutual understanding can’t get better. The nods are an agreement saying – ‘After you get down at Chembur, your seat is mine.’

I used to find it silly. Why not simply sit when a person leaves? Why tell her? Why ask him?

But one is a fool to think so. You will probably be beaten up if you sit without ‘booking’ it with the ‘lender’ beforehand as someone else would have already done so. Sitting on someone else’s booked seat would be a crime bigger than land encroachment in Kerala.

Approaching a (sitting) prospect is like approaching a super-hit movie ticket vendor on a Saturday night. Most probably sold out. Most probably booked. But we thrive on hope. For all you know she may be your fairy god mother, she may be your lender. Getting a lender is as good as getting a PPO. There is assurance. There is security. There is neighbor’s envy. There is owner’s pride.

I call all of them survivors. If you drink only mineral water and always used dad’s car for school, you probably don’t understand Darwin’s theory. Spend one hour at Kurla Harbor Line station and watch people get in and out of the train, you’ll know what survival of the fittest actually means. Its as difficult as a wedlock – andar jaana mushkil, bahaar nikalna aur bhi mushkil.

So what does one standing survivor say to another?

“Aapko mila (lender)?”
“Haan”
“Toh phir, Aapko kahaan utarna hai?”

In love but a little lazy

2007-09-25T07:57:00.000-07:00

Too tired to write. Yet I feel the need to dedicate some space to my latest heartthrobs…

Ranbir Kapoor and M S Dhoni!

My mom fell for the father, I fell for the hot 'son':

I also fell for a fella-cancerian, the hot 'Dhon':

Waah!! Kya banaya hai bhagwaan ne :)

I can’t handle alumni meets. For various reasons.

2007-09-13T10:10:00.000-07:00

Everyone comes in cars. I felt like a lesser mortal. I and Divya grandly entered ITC Grand Maratha in a black and yellow auto (as a tribute to the auto-rickshaw community). After the meet I decided to be good to all the car-owning acquaintances in and around Mumbai. I also plan to start a All Mumbai SIBM Alumni Car Owners Association on Orkut (... a post-Kerala symptom).

Then again, I can’t handle them coz I don’t get as senti as I am supposed to. I start faking it a little. When they show old pictures I make a stupid sad face and groan a long ‘Ohh Yaaaaaaaar..’. That’s what I do when I am actually missing my friends. A long ‘Yaa…aaar..’ and then another ‘Kyaaa yaaa…aaar’. I keep moaning yaaaar-yaar till someone asks me why am I not on the dance floor.

Thirdly, I can’t gulp that I am an earning corporate now. Living with the fact that I am an alumnus forces me to act mature. It’s a burden I tell you. I wanted to ‘boooo…’ something going on stage. I suddenly realized that I was coming from office and if someone from my company is present here then it might just be one more career limiting move.

Then I had to hug people whom I never bothered to smile at in college. Worst was banging into people from other batches. We exchanged numbers which, I for sure know, will occupy space in our phonebooks for no reason. We exchanged greetings after which we appreciated the paintings on the wall as we had nothing to talk about. I would have preferred meeting a wholesaler. Atleast he’d have something to crib about.

Worst of all. It made me miss all those people who weren’t there. I really missed the yeda gang. Had they been here, we’d have either spent time sitting in a corner playing Bingo or copying each others dance steps. But we would have had fun. The kind of fun I can never have with any other set of people in the world.

Miss you guys. The alumni meet was great. It would have been greater had you been there. I just got a little senti later that night (and that weekend). That’s the only real reason I can’t handle alumni meets.

I am a loser

2007-08-29T23:22:00.000-07:00

Everyone in the world specializes in something....My mom in scolding me, my sister in mocking at me, my dog in licking, my friends in making fun of me, Air Deccan staff in stealing........ I specialize in losing.

I look at a loser when I look at the mirror.

I lost my phone again.... :(

Dad said, " are you sure, you lost only the phone...?"

O kerala!!

2007-08-21T10:43:00.001-07:00

I’m sad.

I’m leaving Kerala tomorrow and, I don’t know why, its hitting me bad.

Some things I’ll miss:

Uncle, Aunty and Kalyani

Watching the backwaters from the bus window

Getting drenched everyday

Kerala rice and avial

Weekly strikes

The smell of fresh banana chips

Ayyappan temples

Cocoa Tree, Cochin

The Mundu Mafia

And the zha zha zha

And lots of other small-big things. I know I’ve missed a lot of things. Hope, God’s Own Country gives me a second chance.

Chak de - One of the 3 best things in the last 3 months

2007-08-17T10:31:00.000-07:00

1) SRK

Every one will love him…… Coz he is sexy!! Coz he gives his typical eyebrow twitch in the end (and only when required). In his white shirt and Rayban sunglasses, gives his fans a mini turn on!
I sometimes felt he was going through a MPD coz when sitting with the ‘Association’ in the conference hall he’d throw chutzpah filled declarations bilkul absentmindedly and would shift his gaze from one person to another as if he were Russell Crowe from ‘A Beautiful Mind’. ..Then again, he’d get into ‘Any Given Sunday’ Al Pacino’s shoes, trying to buck up his girlies against the indian men’s hockey team.

2) It gives you wings!

Its beyond imagination of an average mind. About Hockey! About Women hockey! About victory in women hockey!!! For 2.5 hours it took me to a utopian world where we defeated New Zealand, South Africa, England, Australia..!! Indians are emotional fools, hence all of us will love this movie as it beautifully roasts on something each one of us yearns for – Victory, Redemption, Pride…Public’s applause and screams at every goal, every slap, every revelation proves that we ache for impetus and we constantly need the ‘Go India!!!’ slogan behind us.

3) The girls!!

They make it great. The haryanvi tomboy, the chandigarh sex bomb, the jharkhand pair, the ill-tempered sardarni everyone rocked, me likes the bitch-turned-princess Bindiya Naik (Shilpa Shukla) in the movie.

Though, Vidya Malvade (Vidya Sharma) disappointed me. She did nothing apart from being right all the time and screaming ‘Vidya Sharma, India’ thrice. She was a puppet captain to the hockey team, just like BJP would say our PM is to our country. SRK played Soniya ji on-screen and didn’t let her do any captainship :P

4) The eve- teaser hammering

This one, I personally loooved! They rocked at it. I wished it were in the field so that the ladies could use hockey sticks instead of floor vipers. Mast dialogue by SRK, “kya karien hamare hockey mein chakke nahi hote”

5) The Product Placements

Ultratech and Puma couldn't find a better platform. I don't think McDonalds and Aaj Tak were really placements.Dunno if McDonalds should have let their venue to the director to host a brawl.... The SRK-Aaj Tak reporter scuffle and then the blame game highlighted the askewed vision of the media. It might bring a bad name to the media house.

In the end, there was something that confused moi!

Coach Kabir Khan says it hazaar baar, “Ham India ke liye khel rahe hain, fir apni team ke liye, aur uske baad agar himmat ho toh, apne liye”. Nice line Coach!!

But I think Kabir ji was coaching for something else, something very personal to him. He didn’t start coaching coz he wanted the Women’s team to win or because he loved his country. He started because he wanted to prove a point and take off the ‘gaddaar’ label. I found Kabir’s role contradictory to what went in his mind. But nevertheless, I loved it.

Control Engineering

2007-08-11T22:45:00.000-07:00

Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.

After three months into my first stint, I realize that meeting sales targets traveling all day in KSRTC buses, in tiny villages, in this ceaseless rainfall, in places where all you get in the name of vegetarian food is a Kerala porotha and pazhampuri,,,, ain’t easy :(

Esp. if you’re in a country where you don’t know the language. Esp. if you are a girl. Esp. if you’ve screwed up habits!
Lore says, Control is the key to success. I don’t disagree.

I love drinking water. I used to drink lots and lots and lots of it before I realized, I was searching for a clean loo every two hours while doing the market. The thought of using a public toilet killed me. Once I made my salesman sit in a coffee shop, while I used the washroom. My (water) drinking habits were getting too much to handle. Mornings would be spent answering the million dollar question, "where would I get a clean place to pee in this little town if I need to??" Thus, I decided to control my water intake. Now my early mornings and late evenings are spent savoring the liquid :) I hate to admit, but I envy indian men when it comes to this. They pee anywhere, everywhere. Shamelessly. They don't even need a clean place (I've never met any guy searching for one!!).

Another place where I quickly need to get my control mechanisms working, is my back slapping habit. I somewhere am of the contention, that if people are really relishing their work, they’d do a lot of real hard back slapping to each other. I realized how culturally insensitive I was the first time I hit my mallu salesman on the back. He instantly moved away several meters and till date refuses to work with me coz he is a brahmachari!!

Thirdly and most importantly, it’s the parlance. They don’t understand when I ask them for directions in hindi or english but they’d give me a dirty look when I use the F word. I’ve learnt that there are some not-to-be-uttered-words (even when you know the other person doesn’t know your language) like sex, daroo, love, kiss to name a few. Hindi Gaalis like BC, MC, C*****, G***** should never-never-never be used. They eat drink sleep in Malayalam but abuse in hindi. And I..., gotta control baby!

I listen to Janet chechi’s song, for inspiration nowadays:

This is a story about control, my control
Control of what I say, control of what I do
And this time Im gonna do it my way
I hope you enjoy this as much as I do
Are we ready? I am? cause its all about control
And Ive got lots of it

- Janet Jackson, Control

Oft repeated words of wisdom

2007-08-09T06:20:00.000-07:00

"fat rahi hai..."

"mara raha hoon..."

"kat gaya hai..."

"baja di..."

Golden Rule : Don't ask 'kya' after anyone says any of the above

Thanks to sales.

All for the eye-pie!

2007-07-29T08:35:00.000-07:00

If you walk in your regular grocery shop, chances are that you’d be picking up your pack of chips from a spacecraft like Bingo stand or your toothpaste from a rocket sized Pepsodent gondola. If you plan to open a retail store, I suggest don’t buy the furniture as the stands, racks etc will soon follow, don’t waste money on painting the walls, the wallpapers and vinyls will be there soon.

Older home-grown brands like AVT are leaving their diffidence behind to fight with international majors like Nestle in display and shelf space. Innovation is at its oomphy best. A brand like Appy, which desperately wants to be called a cool drink in its TV ads,throws a sex appeal when it comes to its champagne like stylish display.

The kind of dough companies were spending five years back on display was nothing compared to what they are doing today. The amount of merchandising done inside a normal kirana store shouts for the ‘buy moi’ pull brands are creating for themselves. A few years back one could see (in a few high- throughput shops) max-to-max a Cadbury dispenser and a Coke refrigerator as ‘company ka maal’. These days you have Boost vinyls, Lays stands, Hutch sign boards, Kissan Jam racks, Airtel counters, Sunfeast gates, Bytes hangars, Maggie bags, Munch cut outs, Vicks dispensers, Red bull refrigerators, Cadbury visi-coolers, Red Label swinging insignias, Surf washing-machine-resembling boxes, Mentos trays and what not. Everyone wants to rule the category nobody is ready to be a anybody!

Fight for shelf-space is far worse when it comes to organized retail. Companies want branding on walls, flooring, ceiling, staff uniforms, bla blah….and then there are nitty gritties like extra margin, display charges etc.

Nowadays when I walk in a shop, more than the product, I appreciate the efforts put in by brand managers to catch my attention as a customer!

What is the only 'dry' thing left in Kerala?

2007-07-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

Humor, perhaps.

The day before yesterday

2007-07-17T08:53:00.000-07:00

The day before yesterday

Bug 23 bit me so badly last night that I suddenly felt like going back to all my School days- College days- AIESEC days-SIBM days once again. To add to my misery, a few sadistic friends (Pai, Pathak & MJ) called me in the middle of their reunion in Pune.

Damn!

I brainlessly went through some 5 GB of old pics and videos and felt sad. I listened to ‘Wonderwall’ and ‘High’ and felt sadder :(

Two things that made me believe that I am just 7 years from the officially dreaded ‘not-to-be-mentioned’ number:

· I went home for a nap after lunch, before going out in the evening

· I have the ‘tanha tanha..’ song from Rangeela as my phone ringtone

I spent 90% of my day talking to people over the phone and the rest 10% to cutting birthday cakes(s)। Thanks to Nik and D, Pritam, Dinesh and of course mum-dad!!

Yesterday

I realized it was Monday again and along with my usual distributor-market visits, I had to go the bank to re-apply for my ATM cards.

I entered the North Ernakulam branch of HDFC Bank through their ATM door at 9.45 am. The gifted heavily lip-sticked help-desk woman stared at me like I’d entered her bedroom at the wrong time.

She: “Entu?” (What?)

Me: “Chechi, enikku malayalam arrayill” (Sister, I don’t know Malayalam)

She: “Tamil?” (Do you know tamil?)

Me: “Illa(No). I lost my ATM cards two days back. I need to re-apply”

She: “Irrukku” (Sit)

She gave me a form. I guess it was part of her job to offer everyone a Gold card. With her 10% english and 90% malayalam muddle and vociferous gesticulations she tried to explain the benefits and yearly charges to me. I was getting late for work but somewhere identified with her incompetent sales pitch to a customer who doesn’t understand her language, so sat and tried to decipher the details.

Those ten minutes were full of unhappy ugly realizations. It was like staring at the mirror.

She did a miserable job. It reminded me of those dozens of hopeless efforts I’d put in my last few days to convince those uncompromising contradictory retailers. I’d spoken softly (and sometimes not so softly), smiled at their smirks, cleaned their ant-ridden display counters, put posters on their cluttered dirty walls and even shook hands (I hate doing that with random men!!) but just didn’t work sometimes:(

Pitying her, I silently filled the Gold card form.

Today

It was my third consecutive visit to the police station to get the ‘certificate of complaint’ so that I could apply for a duplicate copy of my PAN card and Driving License. No matter what the general perception is, I think it’s a rather friendly place. Atleast people were trying to understand your problem or atleast they acknowledged that there was a problem(expecting that they’d do something about it is asking for too much).

I made pretty good friends with a lady constable who’d just sit and feel bad for you and go back to her newspaper (she used ‘aii-aiiyyo’ some 100 times as if it were the biggest robbery she’d ever witnessed) and the sub-inspector’s typist who tried hard to speak english.

“Molu..Bombay?”

“For work Molu?”

“Entinannu..come?”

I didn’t much understand of what all he said but in today's one hour, I had tea with him and asked about his children and family. He told me what would be the best time to see Mr. Sub Inspector which means I’ll see him tomorrow again:)

On the way back I noticed two things which made me feel a bit closer to my homeland.

First at ‘Franch Express’ courier services. Reminded me of the ‘Sandwhich’ – ‘Berger’ snack counter we had near my bus stop in school:

Second, on a movie billboard. Made me miss those half-hindi half english name plates in Jaipur eg. Retd. Lt. Colonel R . S. राजावत, Dr. D. S. मीना :

J’ai 23 ans!

2007-07-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

Aiyyo!

I’m gonna be 23 in a couple of hours and I have lots to whine about.

No family and friends to celebrate with (not that I’m crazy about cutting cakes but now that I’ve nothing else to do, might as well whine)
I’m factually penniless (my wallet’s destiny was similar to my mp3 player’s and Nikhil’s phone’s – all got stolen)
No plans for tomorrow (thanks to the never-ending downpour– viral fever is in vogue and I joined the club today!)
My cumulative sales achievement in the last two weeks is 88.5 % (I don’t need help from people to get completely f***** if I don’t do something about it)
I’m in Kerala for 42 more days! Everything about me is becoming Malayali by the day. I go to ‘affice’ in ‘odos’ and ‘besses’. My name is ‘Pervel Serme’ and my real name is ‘Parvathy’. And I sell ch‘o’colates (‘o’ pronounced as ‘oa’ in Boat).
Damn it, I’m single!! :( :( (I shouldn’t be expecting any flowers, gifts, cards…boohoo I’m such a loser in life)
From tomorrow, my parents will suddenly start their ‘groom-finding’ exercise with full force, which I had requested to put on hold till I’m 23.
The word 'base' doesn't hold any hidden connotation anymore. (I'm in BASE business:))
I cannot find many people online to whom I can crib. Hence, this post.
I’m so bored I can’t find a 10^th reason!

Adsense ??

2007-07-13T00:47:00.000-07:00

Since childhood, Outlook has been one of my favorite weekly news magazine. I laud them for their articles and reports, style of writing, consideration to detail, gripping headlines, attention-grabbing graphics and most importantly their technique of making bland news interesting.

What goes missing sometimes is the synchrony between the marketing and the editorial teams. I admire Vinod Mehta (Editor –In-Chief, Outlook) for his quality of journalism and principled writing but the latest issue of Outlook magazine demonstrated low business sense on his part. Not knowing whom to hold responsible, I blame him for silly placement of ads.

Take for instance page 27 of the 16th July issue:

West Bengal CM Buddhadeb Bhattacharya looks rather uncomfortable sharing the same page with a Jockey model in her undergarments!

Dear Vinod,

My first suggestion: Recruit more MBAs like me who have learnt nothing else but 4Ps in their 2 years of B-schooling. (‘Placement’ happens to be one of the 4Ps) It might just help!

My second suggestion: If you have too many MBAs in your team, sack a few. It might help even more!!

For The Irony of Adsense read Nikhil's blog - http://nikmuse.blogspot.com/

Mundu Mafia!!

2007-07-11T03:52:00.000-07:00

One of the most noticeable and interesting things about Kerala is the mundu men wear and the way they wear it. It is supposed to be graceful and all but frankly, it looks like some shady lecher’s wrap around esp. when they fold it up to their knees and ride bike or sit stiff on a platform with their legs apart....!!!

Worst is when they start scratching their crotch or they lift it up to wipe their faces.

Here is a picture I clicked when I was ‘doing’ the market.

And they thought they were leching!!

Choosing Choicelessness

2007-06-10T08:39:00.000-07:00

Visiting parents is fun! Especially when you do that in 4-5 month gaps (and not for more than one week). My aim is to savor as many homemade sweets as possible in that little time. My mum, on the contrary, has a well defined agenda of ‘topics to discuss’. Now these ‘topics to discuss’ are forbidden territories which will remain untouched in the normal course of time.
But things have changed now. As I’m done with my studies, I’m working and I stay in a different part of the country altogether, these topics have gained undue importance and HAVE to be conferred on atleast once in my visit to Jaipur.
What I fear most are the ‘talks’ of ‘mutual agreement’ which are nothing less than traps I fall for. I very well know that my mom’s perennially worried about me and is out of answers when our relatives ask her about my plans. While talking to me she acts like one of those super cool moms and what I do with my life is the last thing on her mind. Her initially indifferent facade with hidden anxiety is truly commendable though it starts to wear off as the conversations progresses. But with her experience in dealing with me over the years and a couple of nods from Dad, she regains ground and fights back!

You can read the rest for yourself.

Few days back..
Mum: Parul, what are your plans?
Me: As in?
Mum: See, we are not in a hurry
Clueless me!!
Dad: She should be making her own choices
Mum: Arre… that’s what I’m saying. Let her take her own time. Parul you have full one and a half year! If you have someone in mind let us know
Me: What the f….hell! Just 1.5 years? Nanana… I’m out of the conversation already
Dad: Your mom’s crazy. You chill. You should make your own choices
Mom: Ya ya..we have never stopped you from doing what you wanted all your life. Just be sure this time.
Me: Aaarrree meri maa…kkkya zabardastii hai?
Dad: We are ok with anyone you’ve chosen or will chose. Make sure he is dependable in terms of job and background.
Mom: Just make sure he’s a hindu …Not only a hindu, we need a Brahmin only. Nahi toh what will others say?
Me: Anything else?
Mom: Don’t get so worked up. We know where you’ll adjust. You’ve been in Rajasthan most of your life. You won’t gel well with a southie.
Dad: So you want a north indian Brahmin?
Mom: No I want a Rajasthanii… preferably from Jaipur. Our Parul will be close by and she’ll have no culture-issues:)
Parul: Waah waah... so you want a guy who has first-class degrees and a first-rate job plus a cultured family and no bad habits and happens to be a north-indian preferably a Rajasthanii brahmin and that too from Jaipur!! I thought I was the one making choices!!
Mom: We’ve given you our requirements you are free to find one for yourself. Stay within these limits if you actually want to see us happy!!

I only know how much I detested this topic before the conversation started and how glad I was towards the end (not because of the playground I got but because the conversation ended). No marks for guessing that I’ve asked mum and dad to do the needful as my playfield in the Venn diagram is too small for me to exercise my options.

In other words, like a lot of other times, I fell for it, I chose choicelessness.

Of Should Be and Shouldn’t Be

2007-04-20T06:55:00.000-07:00

Coming home to Jaipur after staying in a city like Pune for two years is like sitting on a bullock cart after driving a Ferrari. Worse is the thought that your racing days are over and now you are expected to tune yourself for something called ‘Real Life’. I use the term Racing Days because of two reasons. One, I was against time…trying everything I could in the little period I had. And two, I was enjoying the wind hitting my face. It gave me a birdlike feel.

The first few days at home were full of revelations and nostalgia. After that what hits you is the clause of social appropriation (or misappropriations) of your procedures. Invariably, a Shouldn’t Be pops up more number of times than a Should Be does. I shouldn’t be calling my friend at three in the night. I shouldn’t be using the F*** word. I shouldn’t be passing sarcastic remarks in this gathering. I shouldn’t be asking him to not bore me. Once one passes the shouldn’t be stage, should be becomes easier. I should be dressing in a salwaar kameez. I should be appreciating her miserable sense of humor. I should be hiding the contempt while they show my horoscope to the pundit. I should be earnestly interested in her choice of car. I should be…..I shouldn’t be….I should be…

When I get up in the morning I see tea by my side
I enter a clean bathroom with a towel fully dried
No bets No frets No brawls over bikes
The cosmos conspires and reality strikes
Soon I shall witness an office table full of files
A milieu of scathing words and plastic smiles
A neat pile of ironed shirts and socks kept bordered
It hits me bad, its gonna stay sad; this isn’t the life I ordered

And hence…before I forget and get lost in the myriad of excel-sheets, in the never-ending chase of targets and responsibilities and the innumerable social and personal expectations, I am going to make a few things public. Here’s a list of things I want (read have) to do in my years to come.

1. Learn to ride a bike
2. Go for 3 month backpack trip (Cover: Incredible India)
3. Work till 70 (if I’m alive)
4. Read Mahabharata and Geeta at least one. Read Ramayana again.
5. Attend one Aerosmith concert
6. Do Masters in Economics
7. Teach my kids
8. Sleep for one full day without disturbance
9. Dub for animation
10. Fly

And if I happen to disregard them, it’s the onus of the reader to remind me from time to time. Hope you do your job well!

Marching ahead...

2007-03-12T09:36:00.000-07:00

In the past few days I have felt all possible emotions one can, in the shortest possible duration. Fear, reticence, glee, boredom, amusement, conviviality, frostiness, melancholy, hilarity, nostalgia, agitation and of course thrill…

Management Day, 3^rd March 2007

After infinite number of speeches by the inexhaustible and tireless panel we moved on to the much awaited masti formally known as the cultural program (I have no clue what’s cultural about it).

There were two kinds of people on stage. One side had prodigies like Basu, Daniel, Yagga and Irfan who were known to be miraculous when it came to showcasing talent. The other side had people like me & Palit who for some reason felt it would be good fun for the rest to see us doing something on-stage after staying off-stage all year (I believe it was less of aptitude and more of joblessness after Transcend that we were on stage).

I personally had awesome fun preparing the skit with the Doc, Nurse Shaggy and the rest. Being Dikha Tintingania & Laina Jain on stage was extremely enjoyable (I realized that there was a next step to the vella-mimicking I keep boring my friends with all the time).

I wanted the fun to just go on endlessly cuz somewhere inside the end of the program was symbolically the end of my B-school life. But I ain’t sad or anything. Just looking forward to everything. After all Today is the Tomorrow I worried about Yesterday.

Holi, 4^th March 2007

Happy Holi to u all!

Too much muck and little color. Lots of thandaai and small laughing fits.

Tata Crucible, 5^th March 2007

Kudos to Rohit & Nikhil!!!!

This is something they were waiting for since they came here. This is something that we all were waiting for.

We always knew you are stars just that this time you outshone everyone else.

Congrats buddies!

eXtra-insane-C!!!!

2007-02-18T00:17:00.000-08:00

10 reasons why everyone in Team Transcend zzzimply rocks:

1) Pillai is always modest and is proud of it!

2) Our clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer courtesy Rohan.

3) Palit will ask you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

4) Whatever Saket says is worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

5) Macha’s artificial intelligence usually beats real insanity.

6) Asha’s clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

7) Baldy’s conclusion comes when where he gets tired of thinking.

8) Sonpari’s consciousness is that annoying time between naps.

9) Pooja’s good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10) Chirayu’s funda for sponsors: If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Totally love you guys!!

India Poised?

2007-02-09T03:12:00.000-08:00

I wake up each morning and flip through the newspaper not to know what’s happening around but for a small feel-good here and there. A news piece on the Tata - Corus deal, a 8% + growth talk, an article on the ever-escalating sensex gives me the required feel good and then I start my day, smiling. I feel proud to be an Indian and I consider myself lucky to be reaping benefits of the boom (I have no inhibitions in accepting that fact that salaries today are offsprings of the demand-supply rumble and not our exceptional performance). On the whole, I am pleased at my present condition, all the more relaxed when I look into the future. ‘Survival of the fittest’ is an old, hackneyed, oft-repeated phrase sans relevance in today’s economic upsurge when you don’t have to try really hard. If you are reasonably sensible and you know angrezi a plum offer is waiting for you.

But things have been different since I watched Parzania. I shuddered at what I thought I didn’t want to acknowledge. For the first time in years, I felt I was a part of an ashamed and crippled nation which chooses to overlook problems because they haven’t been solved in the last fifty nine years, which chooses to take a microscopic view of the country and cover up its incapabilities by campaigns like India Shining/ India Rising/ India Poised and which chooses to ban Parzania in Gandhi land for fear of violence.

There are issues in Kashmir, North east, Gujrat, Andra Pradesh, Orissa. Naxalites who were present in just one state in 1948 have now spread to seven states in India. Safety is a farce be it Mumbai local or the Parliament. The bhagwa moral police is a question mark on our very fundamental rights be it Maharashtra, UP, Bihar or Rajasthan. Our foreign policies have been a failure as we can uncomplicatedly state that our relations with all our neighbors (except Nepal) are a let-down. Then there are other problems like poverty, malnutrition, floods and draughts, infrastructure, corruption……

And yet again we choose to celebrate the fact that US decides to end fiscal aid because they think our days of penury are over or because Asian Venture Capital Journal says we are the most favored PE destination in the world. The acidic truth is, we are still very much divided as a nation. One India deliberately alienates itself from the other’s encumbrance.

India might be rising but its only some peaks we’re looking at.

India might be shining but I don’t think it’s luminous enough to enlighten those emasculated mentalities whose unpardonable acts have embittered generations to come.

It's that time of the year again!!

2007-02-02T00:04:00.000-08:00

Guess what's god send?
Transcend
Transcend

The transcend website's up:

www.sibmtranscend.com

It ain't the age. It's the mileage.

2007-01-19T23:20:00.000-08:00

One thing I particularly dislike about some elderly men is that they think they are all Eugene Levys from American Pie. So according to them they are cool, chilled-out gentlemen and their age gives them the license to do/say what they like.

I can’t understand why they can’t act their age, why do they have to share weird jokes with young females and why they do all the unmentionable things they do.

Some years back I met this pot bellied 55 + colonel at my cousins’ regimental dining-in party. He’d greet you very nicely by shaking hands and would keep shaking till you fall below your decencies and draw your hand back. When I got tired of his patting my back, his unnecessary flattering talks and his cheap preposterous jokes about desperation levels in the army, I asked him what his age was.

“FFFFFifty eight…. But I am so young at heart!!” responded the colonel reluctantly. He said ‘Fifty’ as if it were the ultimate F-word on planet.

Young at heart and slightly old at other places.

“But see young lady I am still in shape”

Yeah, and round’s the shape.

“Yeah colonel, you look 18, with 40 years of experience” I said.

Next he asked me if I had met other officers of the regiment.

Losing My Religion

2007-01-14T22:57:00.000-08:00

I either like movies which are completely trashy and make no sense at all or the once which are intellectually stimulating. I would lie if I say I don’t have atypical disinclination towards movies which leave me morally dissatisfied as after that there is a continuous argument and justification session inside my mind.

Rang De Basanti left me without a solution. I agree it created an impact which was felt during anti-reservation days in Delhi and Jessica Lall’s hearing. I wouldn’t mind kissing Mr. Mehra’s feet for this but I still believe man-slaughters are no solutions to a problem and it scared me to think of individuals who were drawing too much inspiration from the carnage in the movie rather than interpreting the fight of consciences. Even then I went to the theatre twice to check out my teenage heartthrobs.

Don was clearly a victory of evil over the honest and we all loved it. We enjoyed SRK’s incredulous ways of killing people and were over-awed when the movie ended. My young cousins’ ‘gangster obsession’ sent chills through my spine as they thought it was the best way to lead a life nonchalant to morality.

I haven’t seen Guru as yet but when Nikhat Kazmi (TOI) says it I believe it. Mani Ratnam’s tried to make a hero out of an ordinary businessman via smuggling, bribing and evading taxes. And with the reviews I have got, you don’t need a clairvoyant to tell that the movie will be a sure-shot hit.

I don’t blame all these guys for making such movies because after all cinema is meant to reflect what’s true, what’s happening in the society and more importantly what the audience wants.

I blame myself for not minding the truthlessness of characters, for even considering contention that success is commendable no matter which route it comes from and for wanting to believe that my hero is right & has a reason to whatever he does (being totally indifferent to how many people he kills or schemes against).

I wouldn’t lie but it is a part of my character now. I deliberately blind myself to things I do not want to see. I raise doubts expecting to be wronged. I believe people disbelieving their pasts and misdoings. I think more of my interests than everyone else’s. And with all this I welcome 2007.

To this I’ll repeat what I wrote as a post long back.

“Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it’s to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?”

“I do” says Dunbar.

“Why?” Clevinger asked.

“What else is there?” says Dunbar.

Railways Always

2006-12-15T22:25:00.000-08:00

One of the beauties of student life is traveling back home alone. The fun increases when the carrier is Indian Railways (My father made it very clear that he cannot afford my monthly trips home by air).
So, no matter how much you enjoy your privacy, like to read when traveling or are a strict follower of mamma’s pointers (“Don’t talk to strangers!!”) since the age of four - The cosmos conspires against your abstinence and you find yourself making lousy conversations with people whom you’ve never met before and might never gonna meet again. As a matter of fact, the designing is done in such a manner that the compartment resembles a typical indian drawing-room. If you don’t wanna talk, jump to the berth on the top and sleep (we don’t care if you snore), If you wanna stay here…listen to us…Listen to what my sons do…where they work….what my sister-in-law’s daughter pay package is…hear me today like there’s n tomorrow..

13th December, Mumbai-Jaipur Express
Coach AS 3, Seat Number : 35

Aunty 1: Dhokla?
Parul: No thanks aunty.
Aunty1: What do you do? Why are you going home?
Parul: MBA, Placements over, Break, blah blah ….
Aunty1: Oh good. By the way my sister-in-laws daughter also did MBA…her package is in crores.
Parul: Where does she work?
Aunty1: York…New York
Parul: York or New York?
Aunty1: Somewhere there.

Zoooperb! York’s close to London and NY in the US…
Just note the level of know-how of a far off relative she’s so proud of!

Uncle 2 jumps in the conversation with slightly more articulate facts.
Uncle 2: I also have a cousin who earns in crores. She works in California and is above 35. We can’t find a groom for her.
Aunty 1: Ya…ya… you are right. These girls these days, aiesi hi hain yeh ladkiyaan… na ghar basana chahhtee hain na ghar basega..
Parul: hmmmmmm..

Unable to make any kind of contribution to such a conversation, I shifted my attention to a four year old who started screaming as soon as I put some music on my laptop.

“KhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiKKKKKKKKKKeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”

Everyone started staring at me in the compartment as if they had seen me snatching a chocolate from the child. Not knowing what to do I gave my typical I-haven’t-done-anything-god-save-me-look to the kid’s mum. The unforthcoming mother then requested me to play the inscrutable request of her son– ‘Khaike paan banaraswala’ from Don.
The child went into hibernation half an hour later… Phew!!

Another funny sight was two boys who had brought stuff from home to make sandwiches!! Raw tomatoes, potatoes, cucumber, butter and a packet of bread!!!

These are few of the many encounters I’ve had in my trips to and from home to Pune. Train trips all in all are an amazingly interesting peek into dissimilar POVs, psyches and lives of so many different people.
For most of the people they are just to be forgotten conversations in trains, for some these rendezvous are a pastime, for some they are pure bullshit, for a marketer they are consumer interaction, for the talented - an audience, for egotists they are agreeable listeners and for people like me they are another reason to write a blog.

Experiments with Bubba - No men or two!

2006-12-04T06:45:00.001-08:00

Her introduction would take too long but it should suffice that Bubba is close my heart and we call each other for counseling for all the major and minor ****-ups in life. What is of even more importance is that this is her first relationship and she believes in giving 100% (of what… I don’t know).

I’m neither trying a Salvador Dali here nor is it an effort to kill Bubba’s little-of-what-is-left called love life. It’s her final resolution after due consideration of not receiving adequate attention from her beau. Well, as far as Bubba is concerned two catches here:

One, the final resolution is often followed by a Final-2, Final-3, Final-Final, Super Final and Master Final (like Transcend ’06 budgets) resolutions.

Two, Bubba’s definition of ‘adequate’ differs from most of the species in most cases. When it comes to food, one idli would do. When it comes to romance, 10 hours on the phone wouldn’t be enough. You would have guessed it by now, Bubba is on a LDRP, generally known as Long Distance RelationshiP (read Love Decreasing Romance Perishing).

Scene 1

One day when Bubba Boy came to meet Bubba (they were not on talking terms as usual), I was dragged along as the mediator. I sat pokerfaced in a corner as there was hardly a conversation to mediate on. To get a little attention Bubba Boy took out a cigarette and put it in his mouth like Bond.

Bubba: “What are you doing?”

Bubba Boy: “Sorry I forgot to ask the ladies…Do you mind if I smoke?”

Bubba: “Why are you doing this to yourself….and me? What’s wrong? Are you OK? When did you start all this?”

Bubba Boy: “Why don’t you talk to me? What else could I do?”

Bubba: Oh baby!! I’m so so sorry! Trust me I’ll never be angry again. I love you!

Bubba Boy: I love you too baby! (Throws the cig away)

As always Bubba fell for this cheap tactic.

Meeting ended. Vacation ended. Bubba Boy returned to Delhi. And with that he returned to his old self too.

So after a lot of ‘missing him in his absence’, and repetitively telling him the same with no visible outcome, Bubba decided to **** all thoughts about him, **** his case and give **** to what is called relationship ethics. After due deliberation and deceptively pleasing abstinence from other men, she settled for the very popular, “No men or two” strategy and ended her play with chastity. Everything changed – from her attire to attitude.

Scene 2

Bubba Boy has come to meet her again.

Bubba Boy: “Do you mind if I smoke?”

Bubba: “I don’t mind if you burn”.

End of meeting. End of Love life. End of story. Suggestion to all my girl friends….

Follow Bubba if you wanna give them a hard time.

Don’t listen to ‘White Flag’ by Dido. Not worth it.

2006-11-07T03:48:00.000-08:00

Past month I’ve been busy trying to give myself reasons as to why I haven’t been able to write a post. There were too many things to write about and there is no escaping the fact that one of them was the phenomenon faced by each blogger in her blog-lifetime where she doesn’t know what to write then ultimately pukes an apology for her inconsistencies as another post just to keep it alive.

Well I’m going to do nothing but just write below few things that happened last month. I wanted to write on some of them but never didJL

· Went home for Diwali. Loved the train journey with school-buddies Mudita and Neha. The fella-compartment wallahs had nervous breakdowns by the time they reached their respective destinations after being forcefully subjected to our sad humor and pervert stories in our very clean-n-respectable language. I’m sure Mudi taught a thing or two to their kids which they themselves couldn’t.

· I always knew I could never study at home but I thought because my exams were approaching and because I’d carried 10kgs of terra incognita from Pune to Jaipur I’ll at least pretend to read some stuff. But alas, reality dawned and I realized that I should rather utilize my time gorging on moong-ki-daal-ka-halwa and gulab-jamuns than doing an unsuccessful play of futile effort to show how taxing my exams were gonna be. So basically I did stuff I was mighty good at – did nothing. This trip also gyrated circularly around our old monuments in similar fashion (for my jaipurwallahs to understand) Ghar-Beans-Rock-Vandana’s-Kooba-Ghar-Beans-…

· If there was something else I ate apart from the above mentioned delicacies, it was Crocin tablets. Did a fair job in making my room mates life hell with the sneezing-wheezing-coughing fits which blessed me more than twice every hour. Finished half of my doctorate in medicine with gulping everything ranging from tabs for fever to stomach ache to intestines to teeth to hair-fall to cough to vitamins to calcium……

· Last month I was fairly under the ‘Kapil-Quotient’. Took part in two competitions with him out of which one got disqualified due to late submission (each time I raised my doubts, I got a couple of zillion assurances) and the other one where we didn’t qualify for the top six. But all in all loved working with the dude. One chap who knows how much effort to put where ;).

· My roomies and batch mates took my semester III exams seriously with my roommates waking me up exactly half—hour before the brand management exam and Banit and Yagga getting me coffee to make sure I stay awake. Thanks to Dhanya and Pritam for taking me to the doc that day…and thanks to me for making her birthday night eventful ;)

· Last month I also did my first appointment for transcend 2007. Missed Sanjib, Ashish, Dushyant and DP….I even wrote a mail to them but never bothered to send it.

And after all the above, got some good news from Cadbury, had an awesome Mumbai quick-trip with old buddies in their sexy new flat, Monde’s and Umrao Jaan ( I got to write a whole new blog to tell you how sad the movie is), I’m back home again. Jaipur. Living it n’ loving it.

Mom-isms

2006-10-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

“Don’t ask me why the answer is NO”. I got this one some ten minutes back.

Man, I don’t believe it, I’m gonna be 23 next year and I still call her up for the chindiest of things in my life. The one above is one of my favorite mom-isms….cuz I know when she says this she means that I’ve irritated her to a level where she’s pretending to be radical, rational and show that she can handle one more idiotic-n-whimsical fancies of her daughters by sheer pressure with a very motherly do-this-or-you-are-gone stare and I also know that if raise my voice by 0.5 decibel, I’m dead meat.

Some more favorites of mine in the same category that I’ve been hearing since I realized I could listen:

You're the oldest. You should know better.
Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home!
You just ate an hour ago!
Why? Because I SAID so, that's why!
Now, say you're sorry...and MEAN it!
Go to your room and think about what you did!
Going to a party? Leave a phone number in case I need to call.
How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tasted it?
I don't care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing!
You won't be happy until you break that, will you?
Enough is enough!
When I was your age...

This is to all my friends below the age 12..my little brother Manu, cousins Nehal, Devan, Mansi, Raghav, Aryan, Keshav, Gaurish, Ravish……. Next time your mom uses some of the above, ask her to be original.

With love,

Parul Jiji.

“Silly shrewd pointless nothings”

2006-10-06T00:58:00.000-07:00

That’s what Gaurav called us, MBAs. Understood. When you are in your final year of engineering, you tend to say such things to your friends in final year of management education. He wasn’t entirely wrong.

Last night I was up till three for some stupid report because I was busy all week. Busy in trying to take away the priceless movie marathon crown from the fierce violently aggressive competitors called roommates.

So, coming back to the report… Did I say I was working?

Dhanya would say, ‘Yeah…right’

I was netWorking! And multitasking too!! Networking on G-talk contemporaneous with networking on orkut! But I needn’t renounce G-talk, curtail my visits or orkut or abnegate myself from reading and writing blogs so soon….specially after asking a friend, working for a bank who is also a product of management education about his dormant blog. His reply was, “all you wanna do is bitch about bosses and sick sales target-obsessed attitudes whereas we are kids of faff-rich wombs…. So it is better to nurture a dead blog rather than pouring your heart out on it and get kicked out the next day!”

Hence, celibacy for me shall start when I’m earning …Money you see is like exam forms….you need them but don’t wanna work for them.

I have this silly habit of digressing from the topic. Where was I? Yeah, Gaurav.

“Gaurav, what else do you do apart from scoffing derisively at managers, ridiculing management institutions and ludicrously jeer at MBAs?”

“I prepare for CAT”.

Well well my love, come along, we are waiting.

It's OK, It's Life!

2006-09-27T02:09:00.000-07:00

Often in books and magazines that I borrow from libraries, I find some paragraphs, some pieces underlined or highlighted with fluorescent pens…and I never skip a chance to make fun of such morons who take all the effort for the book which isn’t gonna stay with them anyway.

But this one about life is a good one.

“Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it’s to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?”

“I do” says Dunbar.

“Why?” Clevinger asked.

“What else is there?”

Since a long-time the idea of having a good time at home for me was sitting and sulking and sniveling about something or someone with roomies. Not that I didn’t enjoy it but each passing second felt like ‘eleven times seventeen years’ as Dunbar says....

I couldn’t stop thanking whoever used his fluorescence on this dialogue in Catch 22.

No matter how unfair, crazy, lopsided, cussed, messy, turbid and sad life is…..it is coz it is. And as it is what else is there to ask if not for these ups and downs?

When I look back at my twenty-two years and try bringing back all those moments in which I was embarrassed, tired, ashamed, mistaken, failed, beaten and mocked at, I can’t stop feeling lucky as maybe all these incidences in life have made me the person I am. Now, this doesn’t mean that I’m super successful and everyone’s envy or anything….just that I’m happy the way I am and hopefully will always stay so.

And after thanking all my friends in my last blog entry, I now wanna thank all those people who lied, hurt, made things difficult, wished bad luck, cheated and sneered at me at some or the other point in my life…. for the most valuable learnings in life have come through them.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

2006-09-19T03:28:00.000-07:00

I have weird friends.

They’ll get pissed with me when I’m in a bad mood so that instead of sulking I divert all my energies to get them back on talking terms with me.

One will write a mail apologizing for ditching me in a research paper competition and if I throw attitude he’ll not take even one second in throwing it back to me with a ‘balls to you’ look.

One’ll start telling me about the great moments he shares with his better half and takes pride in the understanding they have right after I tell him about my break-up.

One of them will ask me to join the gym as she’s getting butter cookies home and the other will take me to the gym even without asking me (straight after the SCM class and that too in formals!!).

There is one who blasts me for not keeping in touch and says we should split and there’s another one who messages me one night to remind that I have to write a testimonial for him the next day.

One of them will give me an eGonomics (read ego) lesson over the phone and sermonize ‘what losers men are’ and the other’ll message me saying, ‘I know he’s a bastard but a cute one’.

Man!

No matter how crazily unreasonable and indecisively dominating these berserks are…. they are my friends and I totally love them. They are the ones who come up running when I have ants in my cupboard and ask me over the phone if I was crying ten minutes back. They just know it.

Today I’d like to thank all my friends for being there and not being there (at certain times – it really helped), for letting me cry and sulk for hours together (I can imagine how boring it could have been), for cleaning the bathroom after I’ve puked, for apologizing to others when I fall below my decencies, for calling me back after getting missed calls, for telling me that I’ve a sad sense of humor and shouldn’t crack jokes in public, for bearing with me all these years and years to come. Thanks!

Marketing Myopia

2006-09-12T23:00:00.000-07:00

After Summit ended on Sunday I realized what joy vellagiri is. Life is so much fun without sponsors, banners, delegates, alti..,speakers and scanners...

With the 50% attendance that I have (or don't have) attending classes is a compulsion.
I decided to attend all classes Tuesday onwards as Monday mornings are meant to be spent in slumber koochikooing with pillows:(
And then Mr. Mayur Jain calls up..."Avalon Exec Summary.Deadline 2.30".
"Yeah right...now that you don't have any deadlines to give to the I - team... i'm the scapegoat"

Reached college at 1 pm only to realize the deadline was 2.30pm,the next day...Ghhh...mayur...ghhh...

Next morning CRM class.
PPT ready...cases read...i was never so prepared for a class..
Mr. Joyanto Sengupta, " what are you selling if you are the CEO of Kingfisher airline?"
My marketing class at its best....

" experience"

" the brand "

" beer through the airline"

" the airhostesses "

" No. No.No. Please think simple.."

" sex "

"NO! You are trying to sell a seat in an airplane!!"

Ha.This is what one year in marketing does to you.Sex instead of airplane seats.
Thankgod i wan never regular in classes.

Thinking Munnabhai

2006-09-07T06:03:00.000-07:00

I saw Munnabhai a couple of days back. Great movie! Kudos to Vinod Chopra…To make a hit you don’t need maple leaves rustling in New York, you don’t need stars in designer suits. All you need is a genuine thought.

This movie made me wonder why can’t we be direct. Why do we have to roll over the same story a hundred time to make others (and more importantly ourselves) believe it.

I need to share this with you. Though I hate Nikhil for the pain he is but I adore his frank, straightforward, candid style of speech. This morning he made me think of Munnabhai, once again.

We were all seated in Mr. Panda’s retail management class (even I was there!!) but Nikhil wasn’t. The late-comers came prepared with their stories and were seated after a sardonic reprimand.

I was hoping he comes soon and has a strong alibi.

Knock Knock

“Sir may I enter?”

“What do you want?”

“Sorry, I’m late”

“Sit”

Period

No justifications, no long stories, just a plain truthful answer. The whole episode made me wonder if I learnt anything at all from the movie. Before Nikhil entered the classroom why did I hope he has a good excuse and why didn’t I wish he says the truth.

I think it will take some time for me to start thinking Munnabhai.

one thing

2006-09-06T21:11:00.000-07:00

Hi all,
Its a new blog..and i don't know how to start.
Zillions of things to write down but not too sure if i should share them all.
Last night sitting at the terrace with Div all i could think of was this song..

Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It’s nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line