“Aapko kahaan utarna hai?”

“Aapko kahaan utarna hai?”
“Chembur”
“OK”
Nod.
Nod.

A conversation of this kind with an absolute stranger won’t make any sense till the time you are sitting in a II class Mumbai local train. The system carries more than 6.1 million commuters on a daily basis and constitutes more than half of the total daily passenger capacity of the Indian Railways itself. It has the highest passenger density of any urban railway system in the world.
And trust me, mutual understanding can’t get better. The nods are an agreement saying – ‘After you get down at Chembur, your seat is mine.’

I used to find it silly. Why not simply sit when a person leaves? Why tell her? Why ask him?

But one is a fool to think so. You will probably be beaten up if you sit without ‘booking’ it with the ‘lender’ beforehand as someone else would have already done so. Sitting on someone else’s booked seat would be a crime bigger than land encroachment in Kerala.

Approaching a (sitting) prospect is like approaching a super-hit movie ticket vendor on a Saturday night. Most probably sold out. Most probably booked. But we thrive on hope. For all you know she may be your fairy god mother, she may be your lender. Getting a lender is as good as getting a PPO. There is assurance. There is security. There is neighbor’s envy. There is owner’s pride.

I call all of them survivors. If you drink only mineral water and always used dad’s car for school, you probably don’t understand Darwin’s theory. Spend one hour at Kurla Harbor Line station and watch people get in and out of the train, you’ll know what survival of the fittest actually means. Its as difficult as a wedlock – andar jaana mushkil, bahaar nikalna aur bhi mushkil.

So what does one standing survivor say to another?

“Aapko mila (lender)?”
“Haan”
“Toh phir, Aapko kahaan utarna hai?”

In love but a little lazy

Too tired to write. Yet I feel the need to dedicate some space to my latest heartthrobs…

Ranbir Kapoor and M S Dhoni!

My mom fell for the father, I fell for the hot 'son':

I also fell for a fella-cancerian, the hot 'Dhon':

Waah!! Kya banaya hai bhagwaan ne :)

I can’t handle alumni meets. For various reasons.

Everyone comes in cars. I felt like a lesser mortal. I and Divya grandly entered ITC Grand Maratha in a black and yellow auto (as a tribute to the auto-rickshaw community). After the meet I decided to be good to all the car-owning acquaintances in and around Mumbai. I also plan to start a All Mumbai SIBM Alumni Car Owners Association on Orkut (... a post-Kerala symptom).

Then again, I can’t handle them coz I don’t get as senti as I am supposed to. I start faking it a little. When they show old pictures I make a stupid sad face and groan a long ‘Ohh Yaaaaaaaar..’. That’s what I do when I am actually missing my friends. A long ‘Yaa…aaar..’ and then another ‘Kyaaa yaaa…aaar’. I keep moaning yaaaar-yaar till someone asks me why am I not on the dance floor.

Thirdly, I can’t gulp that I am an earning corporate now. Living with the fact that I am an alumnus forces me to act mature. It’s a burden I tell you. I wanted to ‘boooo…’ something going on stage. I suddenly realized that I was coming from office and if someone from my company is present here then it might just be one more career limiting move.

Then I had to hug people whom I never bothered to smile at in college. Worst was banging into people from other batches. We exchanged numbers which, I for sure know, will occupy space in our phonebooks for no reason. We exchanged greetings after which we appreciated the paintings on the wall as we had nothing to talk about. I would have preferred meeting a wholesaler. Atleast he’d have something to crib about.

Worst of all. It made me miss all those people who weren’t there. I really missed the yeda gang. Had they been here, we’d have either spent time sitting in a corner playing Bingo or copying each others dance steps. But we would have had fun. The kind of fun I can never have with any other set of people in the world.

Miss you guys. The alumni meet was great. It would have been greater had you been there. I just got a little senti later that night (and that weekend). That’s the only real reason I can’t handle alumni meets.