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The meek shall inherit the earth after i'm done with it! I was a bored Brahmin bschooler who ended up marrying another one :) and now here we are enjoying the natural progressions of life....traffic, inlaws, bosses, kid, electricians, plumbers and money matters.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Single for too long?

A lot of B-school grads today are increasing falling prey to LOOS (Lack of opportunity symptom).

What I see is the problem: -

· They were attached/ slightly attached/ had one-sided love in college. Hence, the mind-status on love life continues to stay in the exit-college condition.
· A decent pay package and a big brand name behind them conditions them to think they are the most eligible singles from college and re-ignition of old flames will happen soon (statistics say 96% B-schoolers try and woo their old connections once they reach a self satisfying stature, financially)
· All they fail to realize is how most of their batch mates would be feeling the same way
· They think its no time for flings because they are 26-27-28 and its time for shaadi.
· Companies they work for have put them in Jabalpur, Kanpur, Coimbatore, Cochin where they can find no one who matches their ‘mental frequency’
· They are so bored of staying alone but having nothing to spend on that they surrender to the idea of arranged marriage

The worst part is that that they don’t realize that they are desperate. It happens when you’ve been single for too long.
What I see is the symptom: -

· You get drunk and bask in glory of those days when your (X) girl friend got jealous when you spoke to a brunette who came to visit the campus for a few days as a part of exchange
· You still frequent the orkut profiles of your EXs
· When you see them green on gtalk, you think for a split second, ‘should I , should I not start the conversation’
· When in a bar/ coffee shop without company, you order a drink and start calling your friends
· When you are cribbing too much about work
· When you realize you haven’t refused a party invitation in last 6 months (you definitely wanna get noticed, get hooked)
· Before a train journey starts, you frantically hope that may someone interesting occupies the seat beside you
· In a gathering you suddenly come up with the announcement, “I wanna go to Leh alone. I need to spend some time with myself”
· Suddenly after reaching your hometown, you feel like a lost puppy coz no one else is single anymore!

What I suggest: -

Sit for MTV splitsvilla auditions

Thursday, October 23, 2008

A talk lay buried

I wonder why sometimes
I feel there is something amiss
When there is everything I ever wanted
Why is there vacuum in the abyss
Why do hopes from cherished ones
Translate to discontent later?
Or is the inability of the other
To comprehend greater

A talk will lay buried
Words will remain unspoken
Odd manifestations and
Dismal smiles betoken
As thoughts sometimes are
Like undying blemishes
When emotions divulge
Only the world relishes
Wounded is the one who hears
Wounded is the one who says
Silence comes by wisdom
Have heard the same always

So should true feelings die a slow death?
And sentiments lodge in the unknown?
Isn’t it then unfair to call it love when
It is sorrow in the heart sown
But kept hidden somewhere
Expecting this too shall pass
Hoping things will change
Collecting inside a grey amass
Which one day might explode
With exasperation and tears
In willows doubt and question
Is what one fears

So why is the other unwilling
To make way and understand
The silent spasms each day
And lend a warm hand
Then why let the talk lay buried
And why should words remain unspoken
Emotions make a lot of noise
Why lie when time is to be woken
As compromises are like
A dissonance cove
The more you judge
Is the less you love

PS: Wick, I ain't being judgemental:P it doesn't matter..i still love you.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Retold into existence

I ponder a lot over things that lack in life. Lack of public transport in Gurgaon to lack of time to go to the parlour for a wax. Lack of personal life, lack of impetus, lack of lacs in my bank account, lack of……..
Then I spend a lot of time chewing over these lacks and converting them to major gaps in life.

“ Lack of public transport in Gurgaon……How unlike Mumbai..…Oh Mumbai…How much I miss it…Gurgaon is just not the place for me…I must shift to mumbai…this job wont let me…I should find another one…This isn’t a good enough reason…I don’t know what I want from life…I’m an indecisive trudge tangled unnecessarily …..blahh..”

“Lack of time to go to the parlour....everything can be managed, I’m the one procrastinating since long.....think I’ve lost the desire to look beautiful…..how sad is such a thought at the age of 23…..am I going through some kind of depression??…..Should I go to the Himalayas?....omg!!”

After such gigantic troubles in life its easy for anyone to breakdown when life pushes one more bit. So life came to an end when my water purifier broke down.
Alas!! How could a girl at such a tender age, living all by herself take the burden of getting a water purifier fixed??
And then again, everyone from my parents to my bosses expect me to act perfectly normally. I should be equally cheerful when I call mumma each morning and I should respect all my deadlines irrespective of the hurdles I cross each day while I secure basic necessities (like clean drinking water)of life for myself.

To top it all there are incompetent unreasonable plods working for you who can’t manage their time, don’t know how to work efficiently, who nod even before listening to you and basically do a good job of fucking the chore well. Methinks I should steal their school graduation certificates and drop them somewhere in the pacific ocean.
Ghhhhh….Life is more unfair than ever!

While taunting him at his work and spurning at what little was left of his ego, I ask one of my new recruits if he’s feeling lucky to be in the company he is in. He nodded meekly. I asked if there was an issue.
“Madam, I was a Cricket player. I was in the team when Harayana won the Ranji Cup. Then I had an accident and couldn’t play anymore so had to change my field. But you please give me sometime. I will do a good job and not disappoint you.”

I felt a huge ball roll drop from my heart to my stomach.

I shouted at my bai, Paudha, a few days back for being minutes late as I was getting later for work.
“Didi, my younger daughter has not eaten anything since 3 days and pukes whatever I force in. This morning I sent her to Kolkata with my mother as I don’t have time to take care of her. If nothing else, she will be in Bengal if she lives. I went to the station to drop them and I definitely won’t be late tomorrow.”

I felt dry inside. And small. While I was busy in self-pity over my water purifier she nonchalantly fought for continuation. I wish I could turn into a fly and hide under the carpet she was cleaning. And I wish Paudha would unknowingly squash the fly with her foot.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Hi Mom, will you for once listen to me?

At the core, I am a non-listener. I listen till the topic of discussion isn’t leading to infringement of my basic fundamental rights. That is why, listening to mom is a slight hitch. Firstly, she still thinks I am incapable of making right decisions, venture out in the open all alone, open the door without being advised by her to do so, stand straight without her instructions like I were still a 2 year old (I can see Chotu and Manu nodding in agreement in Jaipur.."arre yeh toh hamare saath bhee hota hai.."). Secondly, we would always topple upon something where she would succeed in coercing me into changing the way things have been (read – encroach my personal space).
Her propositions are detailed and demanding and need a paper and pen to start with. Plus if you follow them, you’ll feel 84 by the time you are 32.

One can’t possibly eat everything she suggests as breakfast in one light year (Shaktiman can go to the moon and come back and I’ll still be having breakfast) ….milk, fruits, muesli, yogurt….. (if you are staying alone, like I am, she’ll fill you in with timesaving techniques like: while you cutting fruits, you can boil the oats)

I don’t think I’ll have time to sleep or shit or earn if I follow the lifestyle she suggests "…take a while in making your bed, 20 mins kapalbhaati, 20 mins pranayam, 20 mins walk early morning, evenings should start with 20 mins of….. "

And I don’t think I’ll have any social life left if I listen to her all the time as: One, I’d have no time on my hands after breakfast! Two, she insists on calling ALL my friends home, ALL the time because ‘…kya fayda hai bahaar jaane ka..tum log 150 rupaye ki coffee peete ho….’. And three, without trying to show how curious she is, she’ll try to know all about your personal life… ‘Chotu toh keh rahi thi tu pichle weekend ghar pe nahi thi, maine bola office mein kaam hoga..’

At my age, if you can cook, earn, keep a clean house, wash clothes and also have a personal life, you gotta be a super girl. To my understanding, I am one. But mumma dear refuses to recognize my talents and recommends something or the other which to her understanding will take me one step closer to her picture of a perfect 23 year old indian marriageable spinster. I end up listening to her because otherwise, people at home have to face repercussions..... Papa would be wincing at the sight of green healthy – gheeless food, Manu would squirm at the sudden cut-down on hours to be at play and Chotu would cringe at the questioning looks given to her while she’s on her cellphone. All three would blame me as if i were the mastermind behind the plot leading to their miseries. Very submissively I would agree and apologize and do something I hate doing – Obey!!

Mummy darling, please find below the proof (today’s breakfast):

I hope you and the world around you is slightly happy now.

Now I guess, shewill agree, I’m the world’s best daughter and trust me with other decisions I am planning to make in the near future :)