Experiments with Bubba - No men or two!

Her introduction would take too long but it should suffice that Bubba is close my heart and we call each other for counseling for all the major and minor ****-ups in life. What is of even more importance is that this is her first relationship and she believes in giving 100% (of what… I don’t know).

I’m neither trying a Salvador Dali here nor is it an effort to kill Bubba’s little-of-what-is-left called love life. It’s her final resolution after due consideration of not receiving adequate attention from her beau. Well, as far as Bubba is concerned two catches here:

One, the final resolution is often followed by a Final-2, Final-3, Final-Final, Super Final and Master Final (like Transcend ’06 budgets) resolutions.

Two, Bubba’s definition of ‘adequate’ differs from most of the species in most cases. When it comes to food, one idli would do. When it comes to romance, 10 hours on the phone wouldn’t be enough. You would have guessed it by now, Bubba is on a LDRP, generally known as Long Distance RelationshiP (read Love Decreasing Romance Perishing).

Scene 1

One day when Bubba Boy came to meet Bubba (they were not on talking terms as usual), I was dragged along as the mediator. I sat pokerfaced in a corner as there was hardly a conversation to mediate on. To get a little attention Bubba Boy took out a cigarette and put it in his mouth like Bond.

Bubba: “What are you doing?”

Bubba Boy: “Sorry I forgot to ask the ladies…Do you mind if I smoke?”

Bubba: “Why are you doing this to yourself….and me? What’s wrong? Are you OK? When did you start all this?”

Bubba Boy: “Why don’t you talk to me? What else could I do?”

Bubba: Oh baby!! I’m so so sorry! Trust me I’ll never be angry again. I love you!

Bubba Boy: I love you too baby! (Throws the cig away)

As always Bubba fell for this cheap tactic.

Meeting ended. Vacation ended. Bubba Boy returned to Delhi. And with that he returned to his old self too.

So after a lot of ‘missing him in his absence’, and repetitively telling him the same with no visible outcome, Bubba decided to **** all thoughts about him, **** his case and give **** to what is called relationship ethics. After due deliberation and deceptively pleasing abstinence from other men, she settled for the very popular, “No men or two” strategy and ended her play with chastity. Everything changed – from her attire to attitude.

Scene 2

Bubba Boy has come to meet her again.

Bubba Boy: “Do you mind if I smoke?”

Bubba: “I don’t mind if you burn”.

End of meeting. End of Love life. End of story. Suggestion to all my girl friends….

Follow Bubba if you wanna give them a hard time.

Don’t listen to ‘White Flag’ by Dido. Not worth it.